fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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