i need an iv and a liver transplant
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
