You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize