My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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