Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
