and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
