you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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