I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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