Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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