My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
