New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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