Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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