i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
wow bdsm is so cute
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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