their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
