This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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