so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
