just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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