would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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