If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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