How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
