had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
