O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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