This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
