for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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