My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
