well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
