I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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