so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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