If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
