OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Its about making memories worth repressing
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
