4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I showed him my bush... on skype.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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