these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
