She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
