it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
