Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
