YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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