Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Randomize
