we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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