the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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