i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
