Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
worst night to have a conscience
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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