They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
