Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
