What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
