I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
