return my video game
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
