so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
