I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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