i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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