Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize