Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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