i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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