You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
did i just pee glitter
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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