everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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