just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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