hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize