I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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