just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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